The children ambled idly into the classroom for their weekly music appreciation lesson, an unremarkable group of eight year olds, who typically saw this as little more than an opportunity to sit around doing nothing.
The teacher read out the class register. "Angela Evans?"... "Here miss."... "Edward Smith?"... "Here miss."... "Johnny Thompkins?"... "Here miss."............
"Superfantasticfuckmonster?"... "Here miss."

"Okay children, today we're going to be listening to something a little different. I'm going to play you a tape of whalesong. This is very relaxing, so sit back and enjoy it, and when it's finished, I want you all to tell me what it says to you. What it makes you think and feel" She started the tape.
Superfantasticfuckmonster leaned back in his chair and listened. After a short while he concluded that while the overall choral effect of the pilot whales was quite enchanting, the backing by the orkas was rather out of keeping with the general theme. They'd clearly been gorging on seals, and kept belching, detracting greatly from the atmosphere. He soon got bored, and let his eyes wander round the classroom, looking for a suitable distraction.

Hanging on the wall was a case containing numerous mounted moths, pinned to the board, with their latin names on little tags under each one. Strangely, it reminded him of the kind of sausages on sticks you find at informal parties........................
The annual bat soiree at the large cave in the hillside was now in full swing. It was fancy dress, and the waiters were all dressed as penguins, which was convenient, as it only required them to wear stuck on beaks. One particular bat was rather disgruntled to find that he wasn't the only one to attend wearing a human costume. How embarrassing.
A waiter approached him, and invited him to select something from the tray of mounted moths. He stood for a moment, reading the name tags, trying to find his favourite flavour, and then cursed. "Well damnit! Who's eaten all the deaths head moths?"
On the other side of the cave, a large bat staggered up to the bar, nearly tripping over a vampire who was casually sucking on a cow's ankle, and knocked over the bowl of plums that`d been left out for the fruit bats. The bartender looked at him cautiously and said "I think you've had enough already."
"What? Oh, no. It's the music. It's too loud... it upsets my sonar. I flew in just now and slammed straight into a wall" As if to prove his point, he gestured towards the dance floor. A group of young bats were hurling themselves around, slamming into each other, like some heavy metal moshing pit. The dance was supposed to be a waltz.
Suddenly there was a commotion at the main entrance. Raised voices and trays of moths sent flying and scattering across the floor. Some of the fresher moths broke free from their pins and tried to fly away, but were quickly eaten. A group of mice with strap on wings and rubber band powered propellors had tried to gatecrash the party. Hah! They weren't fooling anyone, fancy dress or not.

The whalesong droned on, and after a time, Superfantasticfuckmonster rummaged in his schoolbag, and pulled out the plans for his latest invention.
Incursions by aliens had increased dramatically recently, and they were easy to spot. (If you should ever see a small dog with glowing eyes, and a fusion reactor disguised as a squeaky toy stuffed up its butt, you can be pretty sure it's no ordinary dog.) He had the perfect defense against these creatures.
His invention was really quite elegant in its simplicity - Intercontinental Nuclear Ballistic Hamsters. Take one hamster and load up its cheek pouches with plutonium and a detonator. Then stuff a cork up its arse, and feed it on laxatives for a week. Finally, simply aim it at the target and pull the cork.
This was quite a low yield weapon in reality, though he figured a larger payload could probably be delivered by utilizing kangaroos, though these would take longer to prepare.
The teacher spotted him doodling.
"Superfantasticfuckmonster! Pay attention to the music." He sighed, and began listening again. "Wheeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooop.... whooooooooooooooooop.... whoooooooooooeeeeeeeeooooooop.....*BELCH!!!*"