How To Be A Lamer, And What That Means

What kind of things do lamers say, and why do we dislike such things? Lamers are people with no concept of chat etiquette (they are often AOL users, since even a retarded baboon can use AOL) and are often seen to utter the following crimes against civilised chatting humanity. "asl?" : We come here to chat, not exchange letters of the alphabet. ASL is an utterly lazy way to find out irrelivant information about a person. Age, gender and location are totally unimportant when having a fun conversation online... and that`s what this place is all about. If you REALLY want to know those kind of details, at least try and construct a full sentence when you ask. "Any ladies here?" : People who ask this clearly haven`t been paying attention. This isn`t a pickup room, and such questions show the person`s looking for just that. "r u m or f?" : Similar reasons as above, but MUCH worse. This person couldn`t manage more than a two letter word in their sentence. Note: There are occasions where replacing words with letters are acceptable, such as if the chatter is disabled and finds it hard to type, but anyone else doing this is just damned lazy. "Anyone for Netmeeting?" : No, no, no, no, NO!!! "Sup?" : What? Please try and use words when you talk to us. "Waaaassssuuuuuuup" : Oh good grief! Do you see any frogs or lizards here? THIS IS NOT A BUDWEISER COMMERCIAL!!! "Can I be an Op? (room moderator)" : Do you really believe you can just stumble in here, and Benway will give you the power to kick people out of the room and suchlike? Get real! "Bonjour. Je viens de France" : This is an english site. Everything here is written in english... why would we speak french (or any other language) in an english speaking chatroom? Of course, chances are, the people who do that can`t read this anyway... but at least you get the picture. Even worse is to ask where the cams are in french. French aol users....heaven forbid. For the record: We have some regular chatters here who`s first language isn`t english. They do however make the effort to speak english, and are greatly respected for doing so. "Hi. I`m new here. I don`t have time to chat, but my email address is whatever@wherever.com (probably aol)" : This is a chatroom. What on earth do you think you`re doing? "My country is better than yours because..." : *Yawn* We don`t care. Get a life. "Don`t you believe in God?" : We have Christians, Muslims, Jews, Pagans, Atheists and whatever else chatting here. Don`t you dare judge us by our faith, or lack of. "Don't you know smoking is bad for you?" : Well Duh! And all these years, I didn't realise that's what the government health warning on the back of the pack was telling me. What is this, 'State The Obvious 101'? "This chatroom sucks" : So do you, but we don`t make a big deal of it. Summing up That pretty much covers the kind of behaviour we don`t like. The truth is, certain people simply can`t help behaving in a particular way. They have no idea how to hold a normal conversation, or maybe their brains simply don`t work. We try to chat here as if we were in the same room... like visiting someones house, and if someone acted in the manner described above, they`d look like a bit of a moron. We`re friendly people, and like to welcome everyone, but a lamer is a lamer, and we treat them accordingly. The real shame is, no lamers are ever likely to read this, as that would require them to think, when all they know how to do is click on links untill they find a chatroom. If you'd like to see exactly the kind of person being referred to on this page, you can read an excerpt from the chatroom logs featuring one particular lamer who became so annoying that he was eventually banned from the room. CLICK HERE to read The Lamer Logs Disclaimer: Benway does not actually believe that all French people and all AOL users are morons.... only the ones he`s met so far.